Sin

It's late. Greek makes my head hurt. I haven't slept enough lately and the knowledge of not getting enough homework done over break is haunting my thoughts. I procrastinate, write blogs, and spend time with friends when I should be working. Organs inside me crawl very much aware of the work required in order to be "on track." Define normal?

I'm 22. I grew up in church. Things have been easy for me my entire life. I'm really good at telling people about things I don't do myself. Hypocrisy. I've been "single" for 2 1/2 years always on the verge of a poor decision. The same sins that wrecked me as a 14 year old cloud my thoughts today. In my cowardice I want to attribute my trespasses to someone/something else. Most of my life has been about me...plain and simple, it is my world. People tell me I'm nice, funny, smart, talented, charismatic, etc...I'm none of those things. I struggle and wrestle and search and plead and hurt and cry and beg. Things aren't easy. I know my sins. Why won't they let me be?

The last 7 days have bore the aftermath of my wracked brain reaching its end. Christmas break- a break for some but not for I. Holiday for most but for me a lie. I am naked before God. He has stripped me bare and I stand before Him in judgment expecting condemnation much deserved. Instead I hear a verdict stating my sentence has been served. My death and suffering have been accomplished by another- there is good news. My wretched estate has been redeemed by the Lord of the Earth and I weep joyously. Ever thankful, never forgetting, eternally repentant, and overwhelmed with gratitude. Though I was found lacking now I am loved.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

While I AM A SINNER...I AM A SINNER...and Christ died for me. Praise Him.

Christmas

Let me first say Merry Christmas to all. I have just finished studying some Greek and felt that need for a blogging fix (currently tapping my forearm to ready the veins for intravenous drug use). So here I am, talking about Christmas, along with everyone else in the world. For most Christmas is a joyous celebration and they don't even know why. I find it strange to party when you don't know why you're partying. Whatever else, people enjoy the days off of work and the time with family. If you read this, here's a crash course update- God created the world and man screwed it up. Since that screw up all of creation has been exposed to futility and struggle and every human being was bound to sin, unable to escape. Apparently sometime in winter roughly two thousand and eight years ago, a child was born to a virgin- the King of the Jews. The King was born not in a royal palace, a sterile delivery room, or even a room of any sort. He was born in a trough in the middle of a barn, and still people came from all over to worship Him. We commemorate his birth with a celebration because He has saved us from sin and made us capable of relating to God through death on a cross. So Christmas is a wonderful/happy/momentous/joyous/miraculous celebration of the fact that a sovereign God did not ignore our helpless estate here on earth but responded to our despair by sending His one and only Son, Jesus, to save those that He has called. Praise Christ.

That being said, I have always found gift giving on Christmas a strange phenomenon. Jesus was born, here is everything you asked for from a man with a white beard. Aren't you ecstatic?

I think to really grasp the idea of gift giving and how pleasant it can be we must first hold firm to the birth of Jesus and what He has called us to do. We must serve- the gospel penetrates our hearts, transforms us, and we become servants to the King born in a manger. As servants we are required to SERVE- we must serve. Buying gifts is one form of serving those around us, and who better to serve than our family? Those that bring us the most grief and headaches- we serve them. We bring them gifts, show them mercy, serve them good food, and worship our God through all of this. How wonderful a Holiday? :D

Last thing: as you move through the day tomorrow remember this.

Matthew 7:11 "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Amen