Moron Jonah (you know that's good...)

I couldn't resist. I have since moved on from my reading in Jonah, but I can't help judging him. Which is kind of the point of the story I suppose? This blog is based on a few thoughts...1) Why is Jonah so intent on avoiding grace for Ninevah? 2) I find it hilarious when the Bible draws conclusions I don't understand and then I question why they are there. 3) It sounded really fun.

In answer to number 1- Why didn't Jonah want grace for Ninevah? What was it about these people that made him want their ultimate demise. Jonah was proud, and more than that, he was apparently a racist. I have done some research on the subject, read some articles, studied, prayed...all that jazz...and all signs point to Jonah wanting the best for Israel, and for everyone else to suffer under the wrath of God for what they've done. I mean, they are getting what they deserve, right? That was Jonah, they get what they deserve. If we're honest with ourselves, we think the same way. But the truth is, none of us get what we deserve. Jonah deserved to die, which is why he said throw me overboard and the sea will calm. He knew what he deserved only after God showed him. But we are all sinners, so when we wish ill on others because they have done wrong, we are wishing ill on ourselves because all we do is wrong. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each one has turned to his own way...(Isa. 53:6). All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23). We love the grace of God, we talk about how good the grace is to us and how God's grace has saved us. But why is it that we don't realize the guy on the corner who is a drug addict needs the same amount of grace as us. It wasn't measured out relatively, ALL HAVE SINNED!! ALL FALL SHORT! ALL HAVE GONE ASTRAY! The measurement was the cross, and we are no longer found wanting. Grace is sufficient for all...so rather than wishing God's wrath on others, why don't we share His grace?

2) The Bible draws conclusions I can't, and then I question them. In Jonah 4, God gives Jonah the plant for shade and then a worm eats through the plant. Jonah is dramatic and says kill me now, but apparently somewhere in there God decides that he has pitied the vine. The first time I read this I thought, "Whoa whoa...where did he get that from? Jonah never said anything about pitying the plant." And then I was like, "Oh, yeah, He's God. He can read his stupid mind and know exactly what he's thinking." So God teaches him a lesson from thoughts he didn't even convey. But isn't it just like an arrogant human mind to act and pray and speak one way and in our minds have an attitude in the opposite direction? Oh yes God heal them!! I'll pray for you, let me say all the words I know need to be said, and all the while my heart is wicked and black with gossip and bitterness...as if I can hide my thoughts from God? Even when I pray God doesn't hear my words, He hears my heart...and that is terrifying because my heart is unbelievably evil.

Oh Lord that we would be transparent and authentic, not lacking in anything but believing in faith that You are right. Trusting in You for You know more than we do.

Jonah

I read two books of the Bible today. Before I finish bragging they were Jonah and Obadiah, so not that impressive. :D But anyways, I read the book of Jonah and something in it hit me for the first time. I always though Jonah ran because he was scared, chicken, yeller...and because he didn't want to go into a pagan city and proclaim God's wrath. In Chapter 4 he actually confesses his reason for running..."Oh Lord, is this not what I said when I was at home? That is why I was so quick to flee Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live."

What a strange answer. I didn't wanna come because I knew I'd come here, tell them you'd destroy them, they'd get scared and act right before they got smacked right, and then you'd show compassion on them. Weirdness...why's Jonah so dumb?

I think we are this more than we care to admit. We want to see people get what they deserve. I know I do, even when I'm driving if someone flies past me (which is infrequent cause I'm the king of the road {Contrary to what nelly says}) I think to myself, how great would it be to see them get pulled over about a mile up? We like to see people get what they deserve, and yet we never want to get what we've earned.

Hypocrite? I know I am. (That may be my knew slogan)

There is no title to this blog...dang it...

It's late. My fan is humming in the background. I've been tossing and turning in silence for a few hours. Laughter is less appealing now than it's ever been. Everything hurts. I'm worried about the future...what does it hold? Where will I go? Who will I know? And more importantly, who will know me? Does anyone even know me now? It doesn't seem like it...sometimes I surprise myself.

I think sometimes God speaks through our hearts and we stumble into something/some place that we never intended to be. Every once in awhile that's greatness...other times it's simply a great thought. In my moments of surrender my mouth moves and things come out that I didn't know were there. God explaining Himself to me? Probably not...discovering reason and purpose for something I've been drawn to? Could be. Maybe I'm simply hysterical and hallucinating a reality that never really existed. Maybe I've created this alternate universe to dwell in simply because the harsh world I really exist in has beat me to a bloody pulp. Or just maybe God is slowly revealing His plan to my super slow mind and tonight two pieces of the puzzle fit together. But it didn't look like I thought it would. Stupid puzzle. I didn't choose it, it chose me. So now what, puzzle? What do I do now when it seems my rope is ending? Wait.

I will wait.