We Were Brothers Once

Today I celebrate the exodus of a very dear friend. For those of you who don't know, Connor Schmidt left today for the Army Ranger Indoctrination Program in Fort Benning Georgia. We celebrated with him yesterday, I shed tears at his departure, not in fear or true sadness...tears of joy at his embracing life and doing what he feels called to do. But mixed in with those tears were tears I couldn't hide- tears of a brother.

I am the brother of one great sister, but my whole life I wanted a brother. I wanted another boy to tackle, to wrestle, to laugh with, eat with, fight with, struggle with, and cry with. Roughly three years ago God gave me that brother in Connor. Our first conversation took place on the kitchen counter of Andrew Murch's house when we both discovered our passion for ministry and desire to be a pastor one day. Since that day we've shared many memories, and we've walked the path of manhood together. His leaving was abrupt and too fast, but I know this- God has enormous things in store for Connor. He will impact the lives of soldiers, friends, family, kids, and whoever else finds themselves in his company. I'm excited to share him with the world, even through the tears of a brother.

Every so often people enter into your life that you never forget. Not because they are hilarious or good looking, but because they leave fingerprints on your heart. You gave them access to the real you, and they impacted you in deep, meaningful ways. A very wise man once told me, "A friend is someone I will call if I have a need." That's a pretty good definition- and if you know Connor you probably considered him a friend. I encourage you this night, don't forget those people. The ones that really changed you, the ones that loved you enough to tell you the truth, the people who genuinely cared for your well-being, not just what you thought of them. Don't forget them- pray for them. Call them. Think of them often because they are a gift from God.

I miss Connor. I hope he comes back in a few months. I will be praying for him (and I know he would appreciate all your prayers as he goes through grueling training and prepares for combat). But I will not forget my brother. Not in the least. I look forward to the day when he and I can celebrate together and continue the road that we started to walk 3 years ago. Thank you Jesus for good friends, good men who give you their whole heart and help me to see what being a man is really about. Thank you Lord.

More than a feeling...

Brad Delp's falsetto tones ring out in my ear, "It's more than a feeling...more than a feeling...when I hear that old song they used to play...it's more than a feeling." What could possibly be more than a feeling?

One week ago today we headed up a mountain to visit Camp Ghormley, FOS youth's annual winter camp (visit fosyouth.com or foscamps.com for more information). We left changed. And yet, every year kids return from camp on a spiritual "high" that they seem certain will evaporate and suddenly they find themselves clinging to the thoughts of the next big even to reestablish that high, or that feeling. Just a few days ago a kid asked me, "What if I don't feel God? It doesn't really feel like He is close to me. I just can't feel it." Or so often I have heard, "I am trying to worship but I am not really feeling it."

What swells in my heart in those responses is not anger, inasmuch as it is indignation. We have taken what was intended for God and made it about ourselves. Worship is our giving praise to God for all that He has done, it is the stirring of our affections for Him in the face of His greatness. It is not goosebumps and a warm feeling spreading over our body as the bridge to our favorite song gets as loud as possible while the drummer's lead foot pounds the kick into the microphone causing our microscopic hearts to pound at the same pace...this is not worship.

Worship is not inspired by music alone, nor is it inspired by anything else alone. Worship is inspired by God. Our worship of God is not dependent on how good the music is, or how good the preaching makes us feel. Our worship for God hinges on one fact- "While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." We have never and will never deserve the mercy of God, but He has granted it to us without reason. That to me is reason to worship. That stirs my affections for Him in all things, not just a "warm-fuzzy" lifting my hands. To know that the God of the universe loved us enough to send His Son to die for us, not because we are great but because He is, so that we could be with Him in eternity is enough to awaken worship in my heart. What does it take for you? A "motivational speaker" making you "feel good" when you leave the church on Sunday? A loud speaker with a sub-woofer the size of Sioux Falls, South Dakota pounding your rib cage to death? Or the message of the Gospel, "For while we were still weak (dead), at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." Is that enough for us to devote our lives to a most holy God no matter what the cost? I hope so...or else we are guilty of idolatry.

A student sharing her story said this: "I never thought I was a bad person before. I didn't have a lot of 'sins' to confess outright. Then I realized- I'm TERRIBLE! I fail so much, and yet God loves me because Christ died for me. I don't know what to do with that other than love Him back."

I can still hear the music..."When I hear that old song they used to play...more than a feeling...I begin dreaming...it's more than a feeling..." Is it more than a feeling? Indeed it is- it's called faith. Even when you can't "feel Him" anymore, you know He is still there.