5 days ago I preached a message on Luke 7:36-50. It is the story of a sinful woman who walks into the house of a Pharisee crying, broken, and overcome with joy. She washes Jesus' feet with her tears and hair, and anoints his feet with an expensive ointment. Since preaching, I have read through the passage 7 or 8 more times and written a poem on it (albeit a rudimentary one). It is safe to say that this text has been bouncing around in my mind quite a bit.
I tend to stray as far away from the "prototype evangelical Christian" as much as possible. Partially because I am a bit jaded from life in the 90's church, and partially because I think most of the men preaching on TBN are sadly mistaken (maybe that opinion is related to the first part of the sentence). In any case, preaching a message called "grace" seemed a bit overdone...I don't want to stand in front of teenagers nudging them towards tears, promising streets paved with cheese, and that life with Christ is like "Pleasantville." It's not. Life is hard, as a Christian it's harder. I don't believe I did a good job of emphasizing the reason for grace on Wednesday as I read this passage over and over. The woman comes into the house not to hear the words of Jesus, for she has already heard them and received. She comes in to celebrate his words. A sinful woman enters into a house where she is not welcome because she wants to be at the feet of Jesus no matter what the cost. She sees him as the source of the joy that she had been missing for so long and she will not wait to express it through tears of joy and repentance.
I can relate to the woman in the story- I recognize that the forgiveness of sins in my life is a debt I am unable to repay. The mountain of debt stood before me as I knelt at the cross of Christ with empty pockets and he granted me absolution from a past cluttered with failure. And for that I am ever thankful, but it is NOT the source of my joy. All too often I think Christians preach that exoneration is the good news. Forgiveness of sins is the gospel. Heaven is the good news. Heaven is NOT the good news. Forgiveness of sins is NOT the good news. The good news is that God saved us for HIMSELF! Our sins are forgiven so that we can be with him. Heaven is good news because we are in the presence of God- and the byproduct of that is we have no more tears or sadness, our souls are filled to the point of overflow with joy!
If the good news of the gospel is that our sins are forgiven, we may find ourselves sinning more (Romans 6). But if the good news is that our lives are with Jesus because we are dead to sin and will be resurrected with him in life…our lives change. The glory of the gospel comes from the transformation of lives, and the transformation of lives comes from death to self, and death to self happens in order that we may be made like Jesus in suffering and in resurrection (Philippians 3). Let me reiterate this one more time- the grace we are given as sinners is wonderful and should shock us into awe of who Christ is, but the reason it is offered is so we can live a life with God, and eventually be WITH him in eternity. Oh how wonderful this news is! I am not merely forgiven my sins but the object of my greatest affection- the one that I desire to be with and yet could never approach has grasped me in the palm of his hand and drawn me to Himself! This is the good news that does not dwindle with age or sanctification. Each day the joy of knowing I am his brings me to a point of flooding with praise! This is why I worship, this is why death is at work in me…so that one day that feeling of God’s presence being “lost” is not even a memory and is replaced with infinite, glorious, breathtaking joy.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Grace for a Sinner (a work in progress- Luke 7:36-50)
Forgiven a debt of 500 days wages
My failures and shortcomings he gently assuages
The righteous gather to point a finger
But the stench of my sin no longer does linger
I enter the house afraid of no sentence
For wrath once mine is lost in repentance
So tears stored long flow freely and fall
Tumbling to earth in sight of them all
Uncertain I quake and kneel to his feet
The dust of the day my lips quickly greet
Scrubbing so humbly with hair unkempt
Recalling a message too real to be dreamt
“Forgiveness of sins for those who believe
The burden of guilt I’ve come to relieve
Cast forth your pain and call on my name
The Father shall answer all sinners the same-
My son I have offered, no love withheld
For those of my covenant whose fears I have quelled.”
Surely not I so filthy and tainted,
“Your name I have called your destiny I painted”
Quickly I offer a life once broken
My affections are yours for my heart you have spoken
Have all of me, Beloved, for I am yours
Lost in the one my heart so adores.
My failures and shortcomings he gently assuages
The righteous gather to point a finger
But the stench of my sin no longer does linger
I enter the house afraid of no sentence
For wrath once mine is lost in repentance
So tears stored long flow freely and fall
Tumbling to earth in sight of them all
Uncertain I quake and kneel to his feet
The dust of the day my lips quickly greet
Scrubbing so humbly with hair unkempt
Recalling a message too real to be dreamt
“Forgiveness of sins for those who believe
The burden of guilt I’ve come to relieve
Cast forth your pain and call on my name
The Father shall answer all sinners the same-
My son I have offered, no love withheld
For those of my covenant whose fears I have quelled.”
Surely not I so filthy and tainted,
“Your name I have called your destiny I painted”
Quickly I offer a life once broken
My affections are yours for my heart you have spoken
Have all of me, Beloved, for I am yours
Lost in the one my heart so adores.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
My Manifesto
It is currently 1:18 AM. I am on a computer I don't usually write on, all the lights are dim in my apartment, my parents are sleeping in my bed, and I am savagely awake. My eyes are tired but my mind will not stop racing. If you've ever seen Jerry McGuire, this is the equivalent to the opening scene where he writes his hopes and dreams for being an agent. He writes and writes through the night and in the morning receives a standing ovation, only to be fired days later. I feel for Jerry in this place- while my thoughts may not be completely coherent the words are like fire in my bones. As I writhed in hopeless effort to sleep I knew ultimately that this would be the outcome- to blurt. And once I've blurted to hope for clarity, and if clarity comes then trust that some good was done. So here is my attempt, be gracious, this screen is much brighter than I remembered.
If you don't know my current situation I will inform you briefly. As of 1 month ago I was employed by Student Painters and planning on leaving for Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary on August 15th. I was nervous, excited, and a little bit of whatever else a young man should feel when moving across the country far from home trying to survive on his own. I say all this in the past tense because around 3.5 weeks ago the youth pastor at Evergreen Christian Community offered me a job as an Associate Pastor. After much prayer and consulting the men in my life I consider mentors I decided to take the job and stay in Olympia. Part of me experienced remorse that I am not going to Boston. I was excited about continuing my education, I was excited about a brand new culture, I was excited about starting a completely new portion of my life in a new place with new people and new challenges. But after 2 weeks of working at this church I know this for certain- I made the right decision. Even if Andrew/Dennis/Dale were to fire me tomorrow it would have been the right decision. Given the opportunity to work at such an amazing church has been great, yes, but it is not my deciding factor. Looking at these last 14 days has opened my eyes to 2 things:
1) The one thing that will bring unimaginable joy in my life vocationally for the rest of my days is doing ministry with friends.
2) When the time comes to look back on my life (if it ever does) the ONLY thing I will care to say is that I helped people.
Doing ministry with friends has to be the greatest job ever. I am surrounded by men who love the Lord, and while this may not be the position I want to die in, it has made me completely aware of the fact that there is nothing better for me in this life. I want to preach the gospel surrounded by men who care deeply for Jesus and for each other so much so that they are willing to speak the truth to one another in love. They are willing to shed light on each other's sins in order to move closer to Christ. They are willing to share struggles with one another, and covenant together to move past sin. And they will do everything in their power to ensure that the world sees/hears/feels/smells/tastes Christ more from their lives.
I can't imagine, as my dear friend William Wallace puts it, that lying in my bed many years from now, looking back and wanting to trade all the days from this day to that (death) for one chance, just one chance to come back to this place and help someone see Jesus. I cannot imagine approaching death and seeing the sum total of my life being cars and money and real estate. I cannot fathom the depths of despair that my soul would breech if I were forced to look upon my life knowing that I had wasted it.
In the end I do not know much, but I know this- the reason I am left on this earth as a Christian is to help people. That is why I want to be a pastor. That is why I want to press onward. I know that there are people out there who need help and I have been granted the days to share with them the majestic doctrine that can save them- a doctrine that says only, "believe and be saved." I do not believe I am special. It is not my words or abilities or voice that will save them, but the very words of God spoken through me. And my hope is that He will do that for anyone who will listen because I just want to help. More than anything I long for people to see how sweet the face of the risen Christ is. Oh that many would come to see his sufficiency knowing that his love is better than ANYTHING this world has to offer.
That is my destiny. I will enjoy my labor for all my days knowing that if even one person will know Christ deeply because of my life than I have done him/her good service in helping reveal ultimate, infinite joy for all eternity.
If you don't know my current situation I will inform you briefly. As of 1 month ago I was employed by Student Painters and planning on leaving for Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary on August 15th. I was nervous, excited, and a little bit of whatever else a young man should feel when moving across the country far from home trying to survive on his own. I say all this in the past tense because around 3.5 weeks ago the youth pastor at Evergreen Christian Community offered me a job as an Associate Pastor. After much prayer and consulting the men in my life I consider mentors I decided to take the job and stay in Olympia. Part of me experienced remorse that I am not going to Boston. I was excited about continuing my education, I was excited about a brand new culture, I was excited about starting a completely new portion of my life in a new place with new people and new challenges. But after 2 weeks of working at this church I know this for certain- I made the right decision. Even if Andrew/Dennis/Dale were to fire me tomorrow it would have been the right decision. Given the opportunity to work at such an amazing church has been great, yes, but it is not my deciding factor. Looking at these last 14 days has opened my eyes to 2 things:
1) The one thing that will bring unimaginable joy in my life vocationally for the rest of my days is doing ministry with friends.
2) When the time comes to look back on my life (if it ever does) the ONLY thing I will care to say is that I helped people.
Doing ministry with friends has to be the greatest job ever. I am surrounded by men who love the Lord, and while this may not be the position I want to die in, it has made me completely aware of the fact that there is nothing better for me in this life. I want to preach the gospel surrounded by men who care deeply for Jesus and for each other so much so that they are willing to speak the truth to one another in love. They are willing to shed light on each other's sins in order to move closer to Christ. They are willing to share struggles with one another, and covenant together to move past sin. And they will do everything in their power to ensure that the world sees/hears/feels/smells/tastes Christ more from their lives.
I can't imagine, as my dear friend William Wallace puts it, that lying in my bed many years from now, looking back and wanting to trade all the days from this day to that (death) for one chance, just one chance to come back to this place and help someone see Jesus. I cannot imagine approaching death and seeing the sum total of my life being cars and money and real estate. I cannot fathom the depths of despair that my soul would breech if I were forced to look upon my life knowing that I had wasted it.
In the end I do not know much, but I know this- the reason I am left on this earth as a Christian is to help people. That is why I want to be a pastor. That is why I want to press onward. I know that there are people out there who need help and I have been granted the days to share with them the majestic doctrine that can save them- a doctrine that says only, "believe and be saved." I do not believe I am special. It is not my words or abilities or voice that will save them, but the very words of God spoken through me. And my hope is that He will do that for anyone who will listen because I just want to help. More than anything I long for people to see how sweet the face of the risen Christ is. Oh that many would come to see his sufficiency knowing that his love is better than ANYTHING this world has to offer.
That is my destiny. I will enjoy my labor for all my days knowing that if even one person will know Christ deeply because of my life than I have done him/her good service in helping reveal ultimate, infinite joy for all eternity.
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