Ever since God has revolutionized my life, most of my "epiphanies" have been rather painful. In one way or another I come to realize something. Most recently it was that what I thought was dying all along was simply the wrong definition. Now that situation has caused more than a subtle stir in my behavior, and on the brutally honest side I would rather have it any other way than the way it is now. Unfortunately, it is not possible.
Another example, tonight our softball team could have been replaced by a large plastic bag filled with garbage and the result of the game would have been the same. We didn't play offense or defense from top to bottom, and it was very angri-fying. So as a "leader" in my community I feel the need to convey the glory of God in all of my actions, and tonight all I felt the need to convey was a butt-on-my-shoulders attitude and the appearance of a raging 13 year old boy. Real classy. It was this little tirade that caused me to chuckle and let out yet another "soul-sigh." I hate it...I have to change so much. Or, to put it in theologically sound terms, He has to change so much.
My shortcomings can no longer be written off as immaturity and pride. It may have been deemed acceptable at age 17, maybe 18 or 19 as well...but certainly as a man of 22 with a regenerated heart and a passion for preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ...it's time to change.
So yes, as I said...I hate epiphanies. Take them away, keep them to yourself. I'm tired of changing, I want to be lazy again...let me stay in my suck. Haha, I don't mean it but at the same time it is more appealing than one might imagine. Believe me, I have chosen far from the easy way :/
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