Two and a half weeks ago my mom was diagnosed with stomach cancer. When we found out I spent most of the night crying, bitter, praying for God's mercy on her and my family. After feeling semi-conscious for a week at work I drove home to be with her through appointments and planning of treatment. Wednesday, a week ago today, we were told that her cancer had not spread. By the mercy of Christ it was contained in her stomach. Friday they planned a surgery to remove her entire stomach, and yesterday that plan was carried out.
Unfortunately, the cancer had spread to her spleen, intestines, and part of her esophagus. They removed her stomach, 10 inches of colon, her spleen, and 2 inches of the bottom portion of her esophagus. After moving through this enormous range of emotions over the last 19 days I am completely convinced of one thing:
Jesus Christ is Lord of all.
The word cancer makes Him no less sovereign, it merely makes us more mortal. We must relinquish control of our lives and when we do we will encounter the greatest joy in all of the earth. Knowing God. Not merely knowing of Him, but to walk with Him deeply and to enjoy the riches of His grace. I believe that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. I do love Him, my mother does love Him, my father, and my sister as well. Trust in Him, all you who are weary...I am weary. I will place my rest and trust in Him, knowing that He will never leave me nor forsake me. His mercies are new every morning. I believe that, and therefore I have hope in the darkest night of the soul knowing that in Christ Jesus all that is wrong in the world will eventually be right. I believe God can heal my mother...but ultimately He must be glorified and if He wishes to use my mother's (and family's) suffering to accomplish His means than my most desperate prayer is for us to draw even nearer to Him, and Him to us, during this time of trial. That through this we will know Him more than when it begun and that He will use this suffering to make His name great, for He is the end of all things.
LORD, How I ache for Your restoration of this broken world. I plead for a miracle in my mother's life...knowing that You are far greater than cancer and that with even a word You can cure her. You who calm the seas and created the heavens and the earth. The One who spoke the universe into existence, and came to die that I might spend eternity with you. Heal her body if it is Your will, if not, then Your will be done and not mine. Make much of Your name father in Heaven, be magnified in this situation. Amen...Amen.
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2 comments:
Sounds like you are taking up a spirit-filled posture in suffering. I remember when I found out my dad had cancer...all those emotions just flood over you. But like you said, that doesn't mean God is not sovereign. It just means that we are human. Great post-thanks for the pleasure of reading it. Prying for you, buddy.
Hey Jake,
I am your cousin-in-law....Amy Lee (Jason's wife). I read your blog, and I wanted you to know that it touched me, and I'm so encouraged by your faith in God through all of this. God is all-knowing and sufficient through our toughest times, and you're right---He is sovereign! I have only had the pleasure of seeing your mom twice...once just this past year, but it felt like I've known her my entire life. It is so obvious that the love of Jesus radiates through her. Please know that Jason and I are praying for you all!
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