It's late. My fan is humming in the background. I've been tossing and turning in silence for a few hours. Laughter is less appealing now than it's ever been. Everything hurts. I'm worried about the future...what does it hold? Where will I go? Who will I know? And more importantly, who will know me? Does anyone even know me now? It doesn't seem like it...sometimes I surprise myself.
I think sometimes God speaks through our hearts and we stumble into something/some place that we never intended to be. Every once in awhile that's greatness...other times it's simply a great thought. In my moments of surrender my mouth moves and things come out that I didn't know were there. God explaining Himself to me? Probably not...discovering reason and purpose for something I've been drawn to? Could be. Maybe I'm simply hysterical and hallucinating a reality that never really existed. Maybe I've created this alternate universe to dwell in simply because the harsh world I really exist in has beat me to a bloody pulp. Or just maybe God is slowly revealing His plan to my super slow mind and tonight two pieces of the puzzle fit together. But it didn't look like I thought it would. Stupid puzzle. I didn't choose it, it chose me. So now what, puzzle? What do I do now when it seems my rope is ending? Wait.
I will wait.
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1 comment:
The title could be.... "The Puzzle" or "Puzzle Pieces"
Just an idea.=)
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