I was reading through Knowing God by J.I. Packer recently when I came across this quote:

"We must learn to measure ourselves, not by our knowledge about God, not by our gifts and responsibilities in the church, but by how we pray and what goes on in our hearts."

I call attention to it for personal reasons mostly, but perhaps it will have the same affect on you as it has had on me. Often times I look at my life and think that I have performed some good in the lives of students and friends and I give enough to the church that I'm safe. I become dangerously complacent and begin to walk in a legalistic pride knowing that I'm doing a good job. I cannot measure myself by my good deeds or by my knowledge about God. The important question is do I know Him? Not about Him, but do I know God? And if I measure my knowledge of God in my prayer life the real answer is no, I don't know God well...I want to. I want to love Him more, I want to know Him better, I want all of those things. But merely desiring to have a better relationship isn't worthwhile. If I were married and I say, "I want a better relationship with my wife," but I don't do anything- my relationship with my wife is not getting any better.

Sometimes I have to toil and labor at my relationship with God. I have to cry and plead for Him to reveal more of Himself to me. And in those times I am made more like Him even when it feels like I am most lacking.

Over and out.

Mongolian Food and a Few Good Men

Tonight I attended a small gathering of young men from my wonderful, blessed, fruit-bearing church that was a fine "send-off" to one of the greatest men I know. The 5 of us gathered and ate good food, remembered good times, and discussed important issues while basking in the glory of fellowship. As I reflect on as fine a night as I've had in a great while I cannot help but feel slight bitterness in it all.

On Wednesday a U.S. Army Soldier, his wife, and two little ones will pack up their final belongings and leave behind Olympia, Washington. They are headed into California and may the people around them be forever blessed by their presence. I realize I will see you all again soon...but I also realize that I have known many friends and none better than the Jackson family. Your compassion, kindness, love, hilarity, and presence will be greatly missed by many here. Even as I sit here now it is difficult to imagine not having you here to talk with, to laugh, joke, and seek advice.

Ross, thank you for everything. You are a good friend, but a better man...there is none. I am so incredibly thankful for the time we had here- you being the first person I ever met at ECC. Thank you, I'm at a loss for words which is extremely unusual for me, but thank you. I am a better man today because of your influence, and you will not be forgotten. Praise Christ that a church in California will be blessed with your family. That a neighborhood, community, kids, and whoever else will be touched by the authenticity of your love of God and neighbor. I love all of you and I will be seeing you soon.

Christ thank you for people like the Jackson's. Friends that are a light in the darkest night of the soul. Smiles that will lift burdens and walk under them with you. Thank you that they are a part of your church and your body and I have had the pleasure of serving next to them in learning from people far greater than myself. Thank you for your grace in providing undeserved community. You are good, and I am ever thankful. I pray that they feel your presence with them in all that they do.